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Good Grief?

Is there such a thing as good grief?


This is not to be confused with the expression 'good grief' as in "Good grief!"


What I mean is can grief be categorized as a good thing. It's such an intricate emotion that I think is too often associated solely with the loss of life.


My argument is that the complexity of grief is vast and can be aligned to loss (of anything) in general.


Hear me out. When I moved to the US I was adamant that I would NEVER change or adjust my accent. NEVAH. Haha! Guess who says 'waderrr' sometimes? AND I have had to grieve the loss of parts of my identity. Parts of what made me wholesome.


HOLD UP! Doh get confused. I am not walking around saying 'waderrr' to any and everyone who would listen, I am saying I have had to make some adjustments and grieve the loss of my pride. Or as we say 'swallow my pride' which in itself causes some heartache. No?


Feeling a sense of disconnect with my culture distresses me at times. Grief comes in different forms.


My son was/is a very talented swimmer. One day he shared with me that he wanted to be an Olympian. He was probably 13/14 at the time. I was like "HELL YEAH!"


A few years later he announced he had no interest in going to the Olympics. There was no prior warning, no explanation. He simply didn't want it. I cried (No more team travel and shopping? LAAAWWWWDDDD!). Swimming had become my life. I assumed it was also his. It took months, possibly years before I reconciled my grief. Mourning the loss of an idea/dream is natural. That's grief.


In the past few years I have had to step back or turn away from relationships that no longer served me. Either I felt betrayed, misunderstood or I simply trusted my spirit that the season for that relationship had come to an end. None of it was or has been easy but it is/was necessary and lemme tell something to you, I lamented the loss of each relationship. Moments of reflection. Nostalgia. That's grief.


When your favourite team loses or you sell your first home, that wave of emotions can easily be described as grief.


There's no time frame for grief. There's no right or wrong way to grieve. There's no specific thing to grief for or about. It's personal. It's deep-seated. It's all okay.


Now take some time to grieve the end of this lil blog.


Feel free to share your thoughts.

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Grief is an integral part of life that can serve to nurture and grow the human spirit for good if allowed to. “Ñame the Pain, Shift the Narrative, Embrace Adversity and Make Meaning.” This is as far as we have gotten in our small group bible study on Building a Resilient Life by Rebekah Lyons. ❤️🙏🏼

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