Welp! We are here again. We made it! Oh God I thank you.
2024 here we come.
Every year I promise myself that I would take control of my anxiety which, by the way should be simple because I AM a control FREAK! Those of you who have been following along would know this. I am control freak in streets and a control freak in the no less than 400 thread count sheet on a king sized firm mattress set on a bed facing south (good feng shui). Anyway, (I know, a control freak with ADHD...alas, that's most definitely why I have lost control of my anxiety). Okay, focus Cin.
It's almost a new year.
Did we learn or unlearn anything? Tried anything new? Stopped some bad habits? Adopted some new ones?
Okay.....Enough about you let me tell you about me đ
I (re)learned that I am my WORST critic! Can you relate? Geez. Here's the thing, because I am so harsh on myself YOU do not get away. No no no...I am as judegmental as they come and it starts and ends with me. In short, you are not priority my friends. Sigh.
I have been told that my self-criticism is 'rooted deep within my Caribbean bellaaaaay' (Thanks for the lyrics David Rudder) and that it all stems from my childhood (I really hate 'hood' as a suffix. I propose we either stop associating it with the ghetto or we discontinue using it as a suffix). Frankly, it makes complete sense to tie everything back to our childhood. It's our beginning years, our foundation, our learning years. Here's the absolute great news...we can evolve. AMEN! We can unapologetically become the version of ourselves that works best for us AND in the most beautiful way benefit those who are, dare I say, lucky to be in our lives đ
Soooo.....That's the phase I am in. Unfolding. Unlearning shit. Discovering and Rediscovering things about myself. Respecting my relationship with life. Understanding my connection to humans. Releasing control over my thoughts (oh gosh...sometimes I am ashamed of what pops into my mind. I mean it's juicy stuff but mainly and mostly only for my mind. You get to 'enjoy' the processed somewhat purified version of it. You are welcome!). Trusting my gut. Surrendering to God.
Today I am taking the time to celebrate the highlights of my year. Too often I start by wishing away the negativity. Not this year. Not I. Here we go.
I FUCKING made it.
That's it. Hahahahaha. That's not IT but it is. You know?
I am thankful to have more time to do more of the things. To feel more. To laugh more. To love more. To experience more. To share more. To drink less (ouch). Also, you know I damn well don't mean water. To taste more (and less...it's complicated). To pray more.
Thank you for coming to my space. Thank you for sharing my work. Thank you for giving me the vibe. Thanks for the love. The honesty. The laughter. Thank you for trusting me with your time.
I wish each of you ALL of the things.
Looking forward to catching up soon.
Drop me a line. Tell me where you are. Maybe I am coming to your city soon.
Laters my darlings.