Retails sales? No, thank you

I responded to the call for a 'Part-time sales person in the ladies shoes department' at Macy's.


Having never worked in retail before I figured my penchant for dealing with people would come in handy. I quickly learned that dealing with people in retail sales required a penchant I wasn't equipped with!


Let's back this story up a bit.


The move to Florida was for my son. He wanted the opportunity to train with Michael Lohberg, an elite swim coach at the Coral Springs Swim Club. Even before we moved I knew that whatever I did had to take place around his schedule. For several months my life centered around Keegan (not entirely true, my entire life centred around my beautiful boy (as it should have) dropping Keegs off to school, picking him up after school, taking him to the pool, picking him up from the pool. Repeat. I enjoyed every minute of it (most times). The Job at Macy's gave me the flexibility to be with Keegs!


On we go!


I aced the interview and was offered the position. Dad accompanied me to the interview and as I walked toward him I winked! We went for something to eat and he asked if I thought I was ready to do sales. 'Yeah man! I ready fuh dem!'


Luck would have it that after my first day the HR department contacted me. They had reviewed my resume and realized I had an administrative background and wanted to offer me a position in the office. A a...but of course! I accepted and reported to HR the following day. My stint in HR was temporary. Macy's hires a lot of people for the holiday season: I was assigned to help train new hire. Sweet!


It was a pretty straight forward job.


One day shortly after the morning training session the loss prevention department caught a trainee stealing. Yup, you read correctly. She chose to shoplift in the same store that she was going to be working. Now, If she was smart she would have waited until we got to that part of the training so she would know exactly where the cameras were located and have a better understanding of her chances. Patience jackass patience.


My time at HR ended after the holiday rush and I was asked if offered a position on the sales floor. Hello?!??! That's what I signed up for! YES!!! All I could think of was the additional discount we got as employees: I am a shopaholic.


I lasted about two weeks! 🤣🤣🤣


The first thing I noticed was how differently people in the US shop for shoes. Every shoe has a specific name: sandals, slippers, wedge, mules, slides and get this,....pumps! WTH! My simple mind knew work shoes, going out shoes (wedding or party) and a comfortable shoe for walking. Then there were these older women who thought part of my job was to get down of the floor, remove their shoe and assist them with trying on their next new purchase. No thank you! Now, I don't mind assisting anyone however, any sign of unrealistic expectations piss me off. Watch your mouth with me PHILLYS😆 Mother didn't raise no fool. Listen, I also learned that some women are well decked in their best bib and band and their feet STINK!

Take a moment and check on your feet before you continue, please! YUUUUUCCCCKKKK!!! Dry between your toes.


Additionally, I was having a difficult time with the competition for commission or as we say in Trini 'De fight dong'! Lawd! The cattiness was too much to handle. I eh able.


One day as I was walking to my car I took a deep breath and said out loud. 'JAAAAAHHH! I eh come here for this kinda pressha!'


The next morning I called my manager, thanked her for the opportunity and told her that I wasn't coming back. Of course she offered me other positions but by that time I couldn't get the toe jam smell out of my nose and my pride. No thank you!


If you are working in retail or any commission-based job and spend your days jealous of the person/people making all the commissions, how about you consider your other options OR ask them how they do it OR sit/stand/lie quietly and observe them? Sheeesh. De people have spoken! Step aside and find your niche! We all have something to offer. Get into it and own your moves. Whatever it is!


Buh bye..go schedule your next pedicure or plan to visit a podiatrist OR never ever take your shoes off again.


Come see perform soon!







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