Yeah, that's right.
TREE, not three. It's intentional. I claim it. I claim all the wins. Look, money is made is from paper and paper is made from trees. So...202TREE it is!
"But winning isn't always about money Cin." Oh, okay. Good argument.
Well, what about certificates? Paper, no? Trees.
Being featured in a global publication? Paper, no? TREES!
Journaling! Paper too, no? TREEEEEES!
Using tissue to dry the happy tears as we celebrate ALL of the wins! Guess what tissue is made of? Exactly. TREEEEESSSSS!!!
Claiming it all. Without apology but with humility and faith.
Let me explain the reason for the my proclamation.
This year I learned a really important lesson. The lesson of 'The Empty Seat'. Changed me forever. Well, until the next lesson.
As a performer the expectation is that there will be an audience when I walk on stage. A group of people who want to be there. It's usually better than walking out to empty seats. Admittedly, it's worse to walk into a room full of people who would rather not be there (though, no matter what, a full house looks GREAT on the socials).
This year it occurred to me that even when 'the house' is mostly full, I am uncomfortably distracted by the empty seat(s).
Why? Who didn't show up? Where did I go wrong?
Maybe it's because I am a people pleaser? I certainly don't see myself that way but I guess I'll save that for therapy
I also realized that in a room full (mostly) of smiling faces, I waste a ridiculous amount of time hung up on that one person who prefers to 'laugh on the inside' 😏. WHY? How do I crack you (and I mean that literally and figuratively).
It also translates into my life off the stage. So many seats filled with people who love and support me. My TRIBE who would talk me off of the ledge
OR hold my hand and jump off of the ledge with me
OR work with me to construct the freaking ledge!
Hell! My TRIBE who would invite me to enjoy the view from on their ledge.
Yet, I obsess over those who have hurt me. Relationships that have died because of a lack of honesty or maybe too much honesty (on all parts). A lack of communication.
I have had to sit myself down and face some radical truths. In fact, I am still having those conversations with myself (well.....and now I am including you😉)
This year taught me:
- It's okay for some seats to remain vacant. Don't mull over it. Not everyone deserves a seat or even wants a seat in my room. Likewise, it's okay to not occupy a seat in someone's room.
- I can and I will
- According to my Uber driver, black isn't a colour; it's a shade (You'll hear more about it on stage)
- I ain't have the time to be fucking around
- I deserve the best version of myself
- My faith is greater than my fear
- There's nothing wrong with radical honesty.
- Bounty paper towels are very absorbent (have you seen the ads? It's true)
- People abuse whatsapp messaging (help!)
- That since I carry my emotions on my sleeve I hafta wear less clothing with sleeves
- I am thankful
- I can do my own ponytail! (Yay me!)
- To continue to trust my instinct.
- Ole age is a bitch.
- Social media is the mother of faux reality.
- Toe nails are crunchier than fingernails (What?!?!? I don't bite my toenail you psycho! I use the cutter then I chew on them. YUM! WHAT?!?? I am regulating my emotions!)
- I am in LOVE with the art of comedy
As we close off another year I want to say THANK YOU!
Thank YOU for your love and laughter.
Wishing you and your tribe EVERYTHING your heart desires in 202TREE!