Ah HA!

A few years ago I realized I’m more of an Easter person. Like I love having 40 days to reflect and reset. It’s probably most likely directly related to carnival, for sure.

Don’t get me wrong, I like Christmas but I think losing my mum in December spoiled it for me. It’s not a recent loss either, she passed December 1996 but, there’s no timeline on grief.

In fact, I had this ‘ah ha’ moment a few weeks ago. I was driving to some random place, feeling a deep sense of emptiness. You know the feeling? When you cannot control the crazy thoughts that enter your mind and the world feels burdensome and you just wanna effing slam into the car in front of you….okay so maybe that’s a bit of road rage but you get the gist. Suddenly it occurred to me that I was in the exact same space last year! Then I realized that from September to December I’m head first, into a dark depression. Every year. It’s a fight to face the light. I struggle to dream. To fight. To think. Gyurllll….and guys….and yous….I love that I made the discovery. Awareness is all part of the healing journey, you know. Doesn’t mean I’m healed or may ever heal! It means I can give myself the grace and

space necessary to just be.

Cheers to Giving ourselves grace this holiday season.

Cheers to acknowledging and knowing the difference between road rage and depression.

Cheers to honoring our emotions.

Merry Christmas my darlings