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I cry A LOT

Updated: Mar 21, 2022

Aye! You in Trinidad? I hope you are doing a show?

That was one of the many messages I received when I visited Home December 2016.

You see, on October 30, 2016 we planned and produced the very first Mauvais Langue Comedy and Cocktails event. The event far exceeded my expectations. The people came and they laughed and I cried...tears of joy. I remember having so much doubt but it's true what they say about surrounding yourself with people who fan your flames but also be ok with fanning their flames too. In other words...doh be selfish and unappreciative! Know your tribe and love them hard!

My friends at Home were following the action closely so when I was spotted on the scene they were like "Ms. Lady, you better be here to give us some jokes too, eh?!?!?

The truth is, I wasn't. The thought never occurred to me. I was Home for some healing. I was Home to fuel my soul and reconcile some deep rooted pain. Planning a show was not on the cards AT ALL.

As the days went on, the calls got louder.


And so, the planning began.

Thursday April 6, 2017 we were going to laugh and lime. It was Mauvais Langue time.

Then the noise started

'A comedy show on a Thursday night? During Lent? Dat cah wuk!

'A whole show without intermission? Yuh cah do people dat, people hafta get up!'

'How yuh mean yuh lighting people? While dey on stage telling dey jokes? Hahahah, you crazy oui!'

The comedy show on a Thursday, during lent, without intermission and with timed sets was a hit. The show started at 7:07pm (someone pointed out I was late to start:-)) and ended at 9pm. No one moved. In fact, they didn't even realize they were seated for close to two hours.

I cried. Ok, let me tell something to you. I cry a lot. I also cuss a lot and I pray a lot. It's all about balance for me.

Also, I am terrible at receiving compliments. It makes me so uncomfortable. Admittedly, I have gotten better but sheesh...It's like you want to know you did a great job but maybe not directly to your face, you know? Like maybe send me a note? An email? Tell a friend to tell another? But not to my face where it becomes this awkward exchange 😆. Ok ok, I have already admitted to getting better about it so we'll move on.

The next year, we moved to a bigger venue and again, more noise. Only this time, I was more confident and assertive so ah block dem out! Oh alright, it still got to me. Once again, we had to prove we knew what we were doing; we had to defend our stance. And once again, after the show, the critics raved (I love to say that, ha!)

2019 was upon us and after some prayer and deep conversations with God, I told the team we were going to move the show to a bigger venue. It was time. This was the third year and I heard God's whispers which became a scold as the time progressed. Just do IT! So we did it.

This time I had a vision for something new and exciting. I had never seen/heard it done before and was very excited. After I made contact with the singer and we discussed the idea, they declined. It didn't represent their brand and they didn't think it was a fit for them. I respected their position and switched gears.

April 7, 2019 was a hit! We planned and produced an amazing show at the Central Bank Auditorium. We laughed and limed fuh so! Yes, yes, I cried. Geez, ah tell allyuh I cry A LOT.

In the midst of all the doubts and the battles, both with myself and others, I was able to find a team who supported the dream. At the end of it all, we came together and put on one hell of a show. It was a very new concept to the comedy scene back Home and we did that; we produced a show like no other and no one can ever take that away from us.

Mauvais Langue is my baby. It was like an unwanted pregnancy...RELAX...geez. Let me explain before you get all your panties and boxers in a knot! I say unwanted because the opportunity to produce a show came to me when I least expected. It was always something I wanted and knew I would do one day and because I never protected myself or shielded myself from the possibility of it happening, it did. I mean I could have aborted the idea but I wanted it. I wanted it so badly.

The moment I agreed to do Mauvais Langue I knew I would give it my all. The ideas were endless. My Tribe Called Bess rallied around me (and still do) and together through endless arguments, disagreements, cuss-outs, hugs, tears, laughter, perseverance, hard work, commitment, love and respect we forged on. We produced seven (7) sold out shows. We trust each other. It's a real love thing. The shows are done with love. Always.

In October 2019, I booked a venue to do the comedy event, at Home, on March 29, 2020. Usually, before I booked a venue I had the vision. That year there was no vision but I reserved the venue anyway. I kept praying about it and asking God to reveal the plan. Nothing. In January 2020 I emailed the venue and cancelled the reservation. I told them I couldn't do the show. Once word got out and it was obvious there would be no Mauvais Langue 2020 my friends and fans (it's still so weird to say/type the word fans 😊) made their vexation known!

'How yuh mean yuh eh having no show?'

'Gyurl, people need tuh laugh. Just organize and do the ting eh!'

I couldn't. I didn't. There was no sign. No vision. I stood my ground and didn't move forward with plans to have a show, at home, in 2020. Remember what happened on March 15, 2020? Uh huh. The whole world stopped turning. Remember? I am sure you do. No need to remind you. At least not this time. Not this blog.

I recall standing in the shower one day...(yeah, I bathe, more than once a day too. It's a real thing😉), March 29, to be exact and it suddenly occurred to me that it was the day I was scheduled to have the show at Home. Yeah, you know it. I cried😂😂😂! I bawled my eyes out! God had spoken to me and I listened. Now, I can be very stubborn eh, but when God speaks directly to me? I listen!!! There was no way the show would come off! Everywhere, everything and everyone was locked down and locked in! That day, I literally stood in the shower in a river of tears.

I write all of this to say, I am glad I didn't let the doubt cripple me. I am so thankful I trust God and allow him to lead me (yes, even when I cuss. I cuss plenty and pray plenty. It's all good. I promise). I trust my instincts...dem deceitful heauxs don't ever scare me. Ever never. And remember that artist that declined to work with me because my idea didn't suit their brand? Well, guess what, she went on to use my idea in her own production. Yes, of course I am pissed! There's also the other side that keeps me from choking her with my bare hands....(look, I am not perfect ok. I mean I would never choke her but dammit, can a girl work through some shit before she lets go and let God?), it was obviously a brilliant idea and one day I'll execute it my way.

I write to say, I remain grateful for my Tribe called Bess. I am grateful for all of you. 'Somewhere in my youth and childhood, I must have done something good.'

Today marks the anniversary of day my first production at Home was officially sold out.

Gratitude is a must.

Now hear this........Mauvais Langue is coming back this year. YEAH YEAH!

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Mwaaaaaaaah Framily.

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