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Submitted by Keegan Boisson-Yates

There are more than a few reasons to be suspicious of Facebook Ceo Mark Zuckerberg. None of which have disturbed me quite like his most recent stunt. The boldest admission yet that he himself is an algorithm in the middle of learning human behaviour comes in the form of his latest site “update”.

According to Zuck the new installment, being seriously referred to as the Metaverse, is supposed to bring us closer and more connected than ever via convenient virtual experiences. Now, I am not educated in tech nor concerned with those implications of all this. The true terror struck me in the messaging.

MORE CONNECTED?! I would like to know who exactly is asking for this. There is quite literally no more space for plug-ins. As it stands I follow around 1000 people altogether among my social media and I can hardly stand any of them. Saying that I know four of them personally would be a stretch. Instagram and Twitter have made it so that any random person with any rabid ideas can simply place them in front of my eyesight. In my personal messages even. So many days ruined because tags like @/ ih8science can’t stop themselves from stating the dumbest possible idea they could put together. I’m tired of it. After the year we’ve had I know you are too. The term ‘closer together’ is post-traumatic. Any human pitching for these types of advancements at the moment is a certified case. I know you saw the BBQ sauce on the bookshelf - these are correlated situations folks don’t hide from the evidence.

We need to start protesting connectivity. The next time someone asks for your email, say “I don’t have one.” Your number? “It’s on strike.” Perhaps it’s just me and this is like all of my other over-reactions. I have been dreaming of the days when news only broke twice in 24 hours and remained only what was worthy of print. This virtual reality meta-verse proposal is terrifying to me in all the cringiest of ways. I may never log on to a computer again. You may have to reach me via smoke signals and/or a pigeon carrier.

TATA for now

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