Yikes! We're almost at that midyear mark. How those resolutions/promises/goals going? We staying the course?
If you're new here, welcome! But also, what took you so damn long to join us? Jkjkjk but seriously, where have you been? Take a quick review of ALL the blogs so you're caught up.
A few years ago, I decided I would choose a word for the year and live through word. My word this year was WORTHY! Let me tell something to you. Yuh girl has been holding steady to that because guess what? I AM worthy.
Here's a lil story.
Recently, I was faced with a challenge. My choices were to argue my point or apologize. That's never easy right? It's like uggghhhhh, I have so much I want to say/prove!!! I examined the circumstances and chose the latter.
I later discovered my apology wasn't enough and let me tell something to you, again! Oftentimes, people want confrontation. They desire it as the only resolve. A left and a right and a lil uppercut here and there (not literally eh, though sometimes.....😬). Relax! I am not condoning violence or am I? (Go learn a little about me before you take offense)
Anyway, what a beautiful lesson: It was a pivotal moment in my life.
There's this notion that women do not support women yadda yadda yadda and as a woman, it's not an easy pill to swallow. I'm always like...I support my girls! Here's the thing, I have never been in professional competition with any of my besties. We're all on different paths doing our thing and cheering each other on. I honestly don't know how I would cope if one of my besties decide to do standup comedy. I hope that I can be supportive but, I don't know. Right? I might be like....B*T*H...get outta here!
There are other factors that contribute to the lack of support or 'tear down': representation, privilege, racism, jealousy, just-being-a-c*** (I'm trying to ease you in but please note c*** is one of my favourite words).
Additionally, as a women of colour (one day we will discuss the road to me being comfortable referring to myself as a WOC), as a West Indian, as a Trinbagonian there's that experience. That senses of where do I fit in? Where's my people? Who are my people? The white/black label is something I had to learn/understand when I moved to the USA. In fact, I am still learning. There's so much to unpack and repack and toss out.
Look, I have an actual joke about not knowing I was black (EASY....easy) and it's deeply rooted in my upbringing. I got a ways to go and honey... I am going!
A few months ago the 'white women's tears' could have fucked with my personal character and my career and though it came with 'an apology', I did what felt right for me. Thankfully, there were people in the space who knew me, who stood up for me! Thank you my angels, you know who you are.
Listen, apologies aren't always because we're sorry, it can be strategic and manipulative. It's sometimes necessary for the greater good of the cause. You know exactly what I mean. I have said sorry for many different reasons.
That time I chose me. I AM WORTHY of better. The best part is...we get to determine what's best for us. Nyum nyum nyum.
I am so grateful for so many of you. So grateful that I get to enjoy this journey.
So grateful for this space to share.
Six more months before we get to choose a new word. Let's gooooo!!!
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